Red wine with every meal and absinthe after dinner.

There's no fighting. And no talking. There's no writing. I'm sleepwalking.

I dreamed a nightmare

And he was there,
but so was he.

...

I'm terrified of caring.
I'm terrified of letting people in.
I'm terrified of emotion.






Now I've said it, now you know.

Excess.

There's apart of me that thinks the root of most of humans problems is the inability to maintain, or even find, a medium between not caring and over caring. Couldn't most conflict and distress in the world be linked back to someone at some point either not caring enough or caring far too much? War in the Middle East: the Taliban hate Westerners, we get it, you care too much. Suicide: the person cared too much for something or someone at some point and that someone or something probably didn't care back. Global Financial Crisis: the world has always cared too much about money; theres not much more to say than that. Maybe if we didn't care so much we wouldn't screw it up so much. Divorce: could go either way, the state of excessively caring for another human, "love", can drive one to do many horrible things.

If you're in love then you care too much. Far too much. Its humanities original downfall, greatest sin and strongest instinct. If you care too much you're going to lose your mind if not anything else. I personally swing from not caring enough to caring excessively about twenty five times a day. I don't know if I could ever consistantly care about anyone.

Not that I care.

Ha.

I got really slack about posting my travel journal.

Will probably just not unless I get a sudden urge in the future.

Life got in the way.

Life seems but a quick succession of busy nothings.

DAY 9 - London to Bath

After saying goodbye to the Russian ladies at the Radnor we dragged our luggage down to Paddington Station. We got there fairly early and spent some time drinking coffees and buying things from the Body Shop and Boots Pharmacy. Then we got the train to Bath. The trip seemed very quick to me. Then we got a cab to our hotel on Sydney Road. It's SO beautiful. A 200 year old mansion overlooking a park and impressive cathedral. They filmed Jane Austen's "Persuasion" in the very room we're staying in and you can see why. The owners are lovely too. A very British gentleman, Julian, and his Austrian wife by a foreign name I cannot recall. We walked around the town of Bath and I saw that Babyshambles was playing that very night in the town hall! Obviously it was too late to get tickets or anything like that but just knowing that Pete Doherty was in the same little village as I was right then and there made my heart flutter a little. We went to the fashion museum and then came back to the hotel and I read Margaret Atwoods "Blind Assassin" for the rest of the night and finally finished it. Things finally got interesting towards the end, I think my expectations were too high.